They lay on their sides next to each other under the covers, Bill spooning Arlene. No way he could hide how aroused he was but no way was he about to do anything sexual other than fondle her. So they lay quietly at first until Bill suggested maybe she’d like to smoke a joint. Arlene said she was happily high and feeling mellow but that if he wanted to roll one she’d take a few hits.
Bill did not get up immediately. He stayed pressing into her, fondling her and kissing her neck. Later, the next day at work, he would swear to her that he could hear her purring like a kitten. She would swear she’d done no such thing.
When he did get up, he was somewhat embarrassed by his arousal and went for a towel to wrap around his waist. Once he had covered himself, he retrieved his bag of weed and some papers and sat on the edge of the bed rolling a joint. He used the night table where the wine glasses were for the spill. Just before he rolled, he wiped the spill into the paper.
That was a whole other story. Rolling joints was a skill and you weren’t considered skilled, really skilled, until you could do it in a moving car without spilling. The less you spilled the better you were.
Bill was skilled. He rolled quickly and efficiently. He asked Arlene if she had an ashtray and she pointed to one on the dresser. It was totally clean.
“I don’t usually smoke,” said Arlene. “That ashtray just stays there nice and clean.”
Bill lit the joint and took a long hit. He turned and passed it to Arlene. He motioned for her to keep it for a bit and sat there half turned toward her, looking at her.
Arlene had light skin with freckles, small pink nipples slightly erect. The covers were about her waist. Just for fun, while she smoked Bill peeled the covers from her so he could see her from the knees up.
Having taken a few tokes, Arlene passed the joint back to Bill. Bill took three quick hits, tapped the ash off in the ashtray and returned the joint to her.
“You like?” Arlene looked at Bill. Bill could her see him looking at her.
Bill leaned in and kissed the tip of one of her breasts. “I like,” he said.
So as not to play favorites, he kissed the tip of her other breast. Then, since she still held the joint, he leaned down and started kissing up the line where her thighs met.
“Why did you put the towel on?” Arlene asked.
“Modesty,” Bill said. He kissed slowly, continued upward.
Arlene sat back against the pillows. She tapped him on the shoulder to hand him the joint. Bill took it, took two quick hits then put what was left into the ashtray.
“Why would you be modest?” Arlene asked.
“Boy, that presumptuous word again,” said Bill.
“Well, let’s skip any presumptions,” said Arlene. “I think we’re moving way beyond presumptions. Just do what you do and be happy at it.”
“I’m somewhat reticent,” said Bill. “Given that you confided in me about your mother, I think it behooves us to actually get to know each other.”
“You know Lorraine, don’t you? And you know Mary. Right?”
Bill looked at Arlene. “I do know Mary a little. I know more about her than I actually know her. Same is true for Lorraine. I don’t know Lexi, or Bea, or Norma. I’ve screwed them, but I can’t say I really know them. I can’t even say I want to. But I’m pretty sure I want to know you.”
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It was from behind, where she moved his hand, up her skirt to settle on her buttocks. She placed it there and then removed her hand, placed it on the bed next to him. She kissed him, not a long romantic kiss but a soft closed-mouth one on the lips. She rested her head next to his so they were cheek to cheek.
Bill let his hand stay there, on her buttocks, didn’t do much with it at first. He simply pressed at her, pushed her so she was tighter against him. He thought. He didn’t really know what to say but he knew what to do and he didn’t really want to do it, at least not yet. So he let her snuggle against him with her cheek, took his other hand and placed it in the small of her back. This way he could keep her tight top to bottom.
“I don’t know how much longer she has to live,” said Arlene. “Sometimes I don’t sleep at all, I worry so much. They’ve said they can do pretty well with chemotherapy and surgery, that at least maybe they can give her some years. I just don’t know.”
Bill was fully aroused now and could not hide that. Given that she only wore the skirt and her panties, he knew she had to feel him. He knew she had to feel him because she pressed against him and moved herself comfortably about him. He was almost embarrassed, not because she made him hard, but because of what they were talking about and the set of circumstances in which they had come to be like this.
“I know it sounds stupid,” said Bill, “but you’ve got to stay positive. Think of all the positives. Years is better than days. Knowing in advance what’s going on and having a chance to work on it is a positive. You’re young and so I suspect she’s probably pretty young too. Am I right?”
“Fifty-one.”
“See that’s young, not bad at all. My mother was only forty-four and there was no warning at all. So the way I see it, there’s two things you have to do. First is take care of yourself because you can’t take care of her if you’re not taken care of. Second is stay positive, especially in front of her. And take care of her of course. One step at a time, one thing at a time, follow what the doctors tell you.”
Having said all that, Bill took his hands and moved them to her cheeks then moved her face so he could kiss her. He kissed her softly and placed her head so they were once again cheek to cheek and she could once again nuzzle him.
“I know that’s easy for me to say and hard for you to do. If I were you I know it would be hard for me to do. I’m a worrier. Maybe the only time I’m not worried is when I’m on drugs, which is maybe why I stay on drugs all the time, although if you really want to know, I don’t think about it too much.”
“I can’t picture you as a worrier,” Arlene said. “I see you as Mr. Carefree.”
Bill nudged at Arlene to give her the idea he wanted her to move off him. He helped her shift so that she lay next to him. Then he sat himself up and sat her up too so they were both sitting there in the middle of the bed not quite facing each other but almost.
“Girl,” he said, “if that’s what you really think about me, then we really have a lot to talk about. So let’s take that shower and we can start talking.”
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Arlene motioned for Bill to sit down on the bed which he did without hesitation. She stood facing him and now that he was on the bed she moved the two steps forward again. She stayed a moment just looking at him, her hands on the edges of her blouse holding them over her so she was not in any way exposed.
Bill looked at her. She was barefoot with just a black skirt on. She kept the blouse shut and shifted her weight one foot to the next and back again.
She said, “I can’t believe I have to do this. Here’s what I want. I want us to take a shower and then I want us to get into bed. I want to lay in your arms. I want to nestle against you and I want you to hold me until we fall asleep. Anything else that happens, happens. Everything is in bounds.”
Arlene reached for their wine glasses. She passed Bill his and took hers to her lips. “I think I’m getting a little drunk on top of the drugs,” she said. “I feel just fine.”
Bill drank his wine as if it were soda pop and put the glass back on the night table. He patted his lap motioning for Arlene to come to him.
“That was plenty clear,” said Bill. “At least I know where we’re at. You do whatever you want too.”
Arlene nodded acknowledgement. She sat on his lap happily, put her arm around him to hold on. She was not heavy at all.
For his part, Bill kissed her on the lips, this time a more passionate kiss, one designed for exploration, for Arlene to meet his lips and taste his tongue. He couldn’t help but be aroused.
Sitting on his lap, Arlene must have felt his arousal because she shifted herself so she was appropriately placed. He felt her start to move with him just a touch and he pushed up so that he could press at her. He felt her push down at him.
“Touch me,” she said.
Bill reached inside her blouse and allowed himself the pleasure of touching her breasts. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he could hear a slight moan escape her lips.
“Kiss me again too,” she said.
They kissed, they touched, they pressed each other on his lap. After a few moments he let the hand that was in her blouse move down to her bare legs. He fondled her thighs up to where her panties were. He did not go inside the panties. He let his hand stroke her thighs while he kissed her, while he pressed himself up into her, while she nuzzled her head against him.
Arlene said, “Jesus Christ.”
Bill said, “I hope that means it feels good.”
“You’ll never know how good,” said Arlene. “I’m not one of those free souls, not one to be going with a lot of different men. It’s been a while for me. I’ve been really busy with my mom.”
“Let’s take that shower now,” said Bill.
“In a minute,” said Arlene. She pushed at him indicating she wanted him to lay down. Then she moved with him so they were in the middle of the bed, comfortable, he on his back and she on top of him.
Arlene fixed it so they met each other exactly where she wanted them to. Then she kissed Bill aggressively. Then she took his hand and moved it to where she wanted it to be.
