Bill hadn’t called home all day. Something in the back of his head was kicking at him. It had to do with Jack, with the notion that he was not gay, but bi, and if he were bi, maybe he was…
Tim was in the closet until he wasn’t in the closet anymore. It was kind of easy to gauge Tim’s persuasion by his appearance and affects, but Bill understood one never really knew until one knew. Bill would come to understand that he never knew anything until he knew it, and even then looks could be deceiving. Matters could get complicated. So even when you knew something, maybe you didn’t really know it at all.
Some things you did know, however. A recipe was a recipe. A fact was a fact. The fact was he had a record. That fact didn’t change. In fact, it wouldn’t change even after he’d had that record expunged some twenty years later. The interpretations of facts were what caused issues, but there was nothing anyone could do about that.
Jack wasn’t bi. Bill knew it. Bill knew he was gay, a hundred percent. Like many of the gays at the time, he surrounded himself with girls, usually very pretty girls too. That was to hide who he really was. It was also because the girls of the time liked hanging around with gay guys because they could get boy perspectives without any sexual entanglements. And if a girl really wanted to know what a guy was thinking, who was the best one to ask? A gay guy, of course, because then she could get the male perspective without any repercussions. It was an easy way for girls to find out if a guy liked them. That’s what most of the questions were about anyway, that and about what guys liked for their birthdays or for other assorted types of things. Then there was always the sex talk where the girls could check out if guys liked this or that, or liked it this way or that.
So if something in the back of Bill’s mind gnawed at him, even though he knew it didn’t mean anything much, it was still there and it wasn’t Jack. It was still there even as he played with Mary and Bea and Mary and Bea together. It was still there as he flirted with Lexi, and he would discover it would still be there later this evening when Lorraine was closing girl.
After the meat delivery, after making sure the line was completely set up and Mary’s work was all done, that’s when he went into the office to call home. Luckily, or not, his fiancé wasn’t in so he didn’t have to say anything, discuss anything, do anything. He went back to the kitchen where the devil was working inside him.
“How many pounds of meat came in?” Mary asked.
“Little over fourteen hundred,” Bill said.
“You got it all stowed away?”
“Yup.”
“Henry Lee finishing up?”
“He’s working,” said Bill. “But I think he’s got a lot of work he wants to get done, especially since the Buckeyes are home this weekend and we’re probably going to be busy. I think he’s trying to get a good head start.”
“Well,” said Mary, “we better do all the breading tomorrow. And don’t you be taking none of that that stupid stuff. Although, I have to admit, you’re kind of cute when you get messed up.”
Bill smiled. He knew it was about time to take out the baked potatoes. He knew it was about time to cart over the prime rib and set it up for carving by the steam table. He knew it was about time to double check all the frozen items to make sure they had enough to get through the night. He knew it was about time to start carting up the meat from downstairs.
