If only Bill had understood that every time he responded to an F-it situation it would pretty much backfire on him, perhaps throughout the course of his life he would have responded differently.
But then maybe not.
Later on in his life he would subscribe to the idea that youth is wasted on the young. At different times in his life he would think, from time to time, that he had it together and he knew what he was doing. But just as he got to those moments and thought those thoughts, something would come along to tell him that he had no idea what he was doing and like everyone else, he was just winging it.
So it was on April Fools’ Day that Arlene came out to him after the lunch while he was sitting in the hall. She was dressed in her civvies but she was dressed differently than her usual. Ordinarily, she wore jeans, running shoes and some kind of sweater-blouse. This day she wore a low-cut blouse, short skirt, dark stockings and high heels. She was also heavily made up, the makeup capped with dark lipstick.
Bill was resting, minding his own business. Mary, Bea and Henry Lee were still out in the side dining room finishing their lunch. He had gone to the hall to smoke a cigarette and he was considering popping an acid tab since the business was very slow.
“What’s up with you?” he asked, seeing her the way she was dressed.
“I got a few free hours before the night shift. I was hoping you might be able to get away.”
“You look really great.”
“I know. I did it for you.”
“That’s really sweet, Arlene. But don’t you think we’d be better off just staying as friends?”
“I think lots of things,” Arlene said. “I think things all the time. Sometimes I think them through and sometimes I don’t. I’ve thought this one through and I want you to come home with me. No strings, no consequences.”
Bill stood up. Looking at her, one head said to give it a pass and the other one said “go for it boy.”
And there it was, again. Standing right before him was the proverbial f-it choice, that simple choice which required either a what-the-hell or a “no” response. It was clean and easy, yes or no. He could have a few hours of pleasure with maybe a little bit of guilt afterward or he could kick himself in the head for the rest of his life for passing up the temptation.
Her intentions were obvious. He understood this from the way she was dressed. He understood this from what she had already said and from the way she stood there shifting from one foot to the other in the high heels that she wore and with her tongue suggestively moistening her lips from time to time.
Goddammit, he thought. Shit. It was as if he were in the Garden of Eden standing before the tree he was not supposed to touch. And there was that fruit, right there, saying pluck me, take me, devour me.
“I’ll beg if you want me to,” she said. “I don’t really want to, but if it’ll get you to go with me I’ll do it.” She stepped up really close to him, so close he could smell her perfume, so close he could feel her breath on his neck as she whispered in his ear. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” she said.
He didn’t hesitate any longer. He told her to wait for him in the parking lot, that he’d be right back.
After he’d watched her go out the back door, he walked through the kitchen into the side dining room where he told Mary, Bea and Henry Lee he’d be back in a few hours.
“Take your time,” Henry Lee said. “We know where you’re going.”
